Yeah, I've been lying to you since week one. [ beau says dryly. ] No, just - I'm tired. I think it's bullshit that Lili is going to get a pass for all this just because everybody thinks it's more tragic for her to lose Ookurikara than it was for me to lose A-sang.
I know that makes me a bitter, petty shit. But I really don't care.
[ instead of fighting back, he just lets her smoosh. it's fine. ]
...people're gonna justify it with some holier-than-thou talk about how "oh, but Ookurikara didn't kill anybody, so it's different." Which, okay, guess that's a point, but—but it's still bullshit.
[ he grumbles, annoyed. ]
That's all it's been since the beginning, hasn't it? A whole load of absolute, motherfuckin' nonsense that's tryin' to get everyone to turn against each other. [ he shakes his head, running a hand down his face. ] Doesn't mean ya gotta put up with their crap, or hell, even let anyone say that to ya in general, ya know. S'like I said before—"fuck 'em."
Taako and Magnus are right. Nobody here is innocent. Nobody gets to do the holier-than-thou talk, nobody's fucking pain is more than anybody else's. No matter who was voted for today, there would be someone going through the worst.
[ her voice gets a little - icy, at the end there, but. a pause. a little less angry: ]
You know - a couple minutes before the decision, Lili said something about how it was so horrible to watch Magnus and Taako suffer through this whole thing. She was all about the I'm sorry and the it's so sad.
Funny how quick she was to change her tune and rip them a new one when it was her losing someone. [ beau says idly, staring at the sky. ] It's not gonna stop me from working together to get out of here.
[ as she speaks, he offers her his full attention.
he's never been great at words. sure, he can talk up a storm when it's about nonsense, but in moments of raw, intense emotion like this? he's got nothing. he doesn't know what to say, when her words are filled with such bitter determination. it doesn't help that he cares about her and lili both—caring has always been his weakness, hasn't it? despite everything else about him screaming otherwise... caring for saejima, caring for makoto, caring for mizuki and senri and madoka and all the others among the sleeping...
he can't put any of that into words.
so he simply reaches up to the hand she has on his face, wrapping his own around it and squeezing tight. ]
[ she takes a deep breath, and very, very slowly exhales. clears her head, at least. she can't clear her heart - she cares too much, she hates injustice, she hates everything they've had to go through here. she won't forget.
but it's more important to save everybody. so that's what she'll do. she buries the bitterness she feels.
and she holds onto majima's hand when he takes it. ]
We're similar, Majima. Me and you are both loyal to the fucking end.
So I hope you get it when I say I'm not going to screw us all over - but I also can't forget that Taako stuck up for me even when Huaisang was guilty.
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Monk shit. [ she says, gesturing vaguely. you know what, she's going to just flop down next to him out on the ground. ]
You punched me so hard I actually thought I was going to black out for a second, so. Same.
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anyway, he chuckles briefly before lapsing into silence. then, after a short pause, ]
...Think yer gonna be able to get any kind of shuteye tonight?
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she stares up at the sky. ]
No. [ she says, with a slow sigh. ] Can I tell you something honest?
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[ he's kidding. ]
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Yeah, I've been lying to you since week one. [ beau says dryly. ] No, just - I'm tired. I think it's bullshit that Lili is going to get a pass for all this just because everybody thinks it's more tragic for her to lose Ookurikara than it was for me to lose A-sang.
I know that makes me a bitter, petty shit. But I really don't care.
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...people're gonna justify it with some holier-than-thou talk about how "oh, but Ookurikara didn't kill anybody, so it's different." Which, okay, guess that's a point, but—but it's still bullshit.
[ he grumbles, annoyed. ]
That's all it's been since the beginning, hasn't it? A whole load of absolute, motherfuckin' nonsense that's tryin' to get everyone to turn against each other. [ he shakes his head, running a hand down his face. ] Doesn't mean ya gotta put up with their crap, or hell, even let anyone say that to ya in general, ya know. S'like I said before—"fuck 'em."
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[ her voice gets a little - icy, at the end there, but. a pause. a little less angry: ]
You know - a couple minutes before the decision, Lili said something about how it was so horrible to watch Magnus and Taako suffer through this whole thing. She was all about the I'm sorry and the it's so sad.
Funny how quick she was to change her tune and rip them a new one when it was her losing someone. [ beau says idly, staring at the sky. ] It's not gonna stop me from working together to get out of here.
But I don't forget shit like that.
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[ as she speaks, he offers her his full attention.
he's never been great at words. sure, he can talk up a storm when it's about nonsense, but in moments of raw, intense emotion like this? he's got nothing. he doesn't know what to say, when her words are filled with such bitter determination. it doesn't help that he cares about her and lili both—caring has always been his weakness, hasn't it? despite everything else about him screaming otherwise... caring for saejima, caring for makoto, caring for mizuki and senri and madoka and all the others among the sleeping...
he can't put any of that into words.
so he simply reaches up to the hand she has on his face, wrapping his own around it and squeezing tight. ]
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but it's more important to save everybody. so that's what she'll do. she buries the bitterness she feels.
and she holds onto majima's hand when he takes it. ]
We're similar, Majima. Me and you are both loyal to the fucking end.
So I hope you get it when I say I'm not going to screw us all over - but I also can't forget that Taako stuck up for me even when Huaisang was guilty.